I thought I had got what I want. I thought I'm content. But why is there a growing dissatisfaction inside of me. A growing loneliness.
I'm in between a bunch of really talented people, a crowd of some of the best minds in the country. So much to learn!
But to balance it out, there's cut-throat competition & a mad inferiority complex.
I had another blog before. But, somehow I don't want to continue it anymore. I don't know if I wanna be that person anymore. Something inside me has died. Something else is born. And the new born doesn't want to let criticism in, anymore. It should be devoid of any blocks. Did the innumerable blocks killed my old self!
There's a big nostalgia about him, my old self. I miss him. I miss his laughter. I miss his concerns for his best friends. I miss his frustrations, which seem simpler now. I miss his friends who were always there to cheer him up. Do I want him back? Can I have him again?
Perhaps No. Because the traumas that killed him might drive me where I don't want to go. The life I've right now is a blank slate. I'm open as well as afraid of what I'll be. Is this how I'll be for the rest of my life. A lonesome guy on an anonymous blog discussing his future with a trendy silver screen in front of him.
I'm afraid. I'm lonely. I'm confident. I'm myself. But who's myself?
I'm in between a bunch of really talented people, a crowd of some of the best minds in the country. So much to learn!
But to balance it out, there's cut-throat competition & a mad inferiority complex.
I had another blog before. But, somehow I don't want to continue it anymore. I don't know if I wanna be that person anymore. Something inside me has died. Something else is born. And the new born doesn't want to let criticism in, anymore. It should be devoid of any blocks. Did the innumerable blocks killed my old self!
There's a big nostalgia about him, my old self. I miss him. I miss his laughter. I miss his concerns for his best friends. I miss his frustrations, which seem simpler now. I miss his friends who were always there to cheer him up. Do I want him back? Can I have him again?
Perhaps No. Because the traumas that killed him might drive me where I don't want to go. The life I've right now is a blank slate. I'm open as well as afraid of what I'll be. Is this how I'll be for the rest of my life. A lonesome guy on an anonymous blog discussing his future with a trendy silver screen in front of him.
I'm afraid. I'm lonely. I'm confident. I'm myself. But who's myself?
